Methylphenidate Me

I have been having trouble focusing, lately. So much so, that my wife wants me to try taking Ritalin more regularly. I've been using it when I need to focus on something for a long period of time. I take it like I would take aspirin: when I need it.
Apparently, I need it for taking care of the house duties. I'll give it a try and see how things go. Like aspirin, it wears off rather quickly, so I don't have to worry about too many lingering effects, such as sleeplessness.
I'll keep y'all posted.

Speech

I don't know what to write. I said this to myself, and realized that many times, I don't know what to say. My spoken word doesn't always come out. I know what I want to say, but prior to making sound, the words are gang tackled by my lips. No one usually notices, but I do.
Emotions usually make this stumbling more apparent. Getting my point across when I am emotional or excited, can be difficult at the very least. Sometimes my point won't get made. Frustration creeps in, and I either withdrawal or become angry.
Angry at myself, but often comes out directed at others. My family bears most of my anger. I have to apologize and make up with them later. Knowing this about myself has been a struggle.
Denial has not been a good strategy. I need to discuss this issue with my doctor, and come up with other ways to handle this change in my speech. I wonder how many of the brain injured have dealt with this issue in silence. Communication is important, and silence, in this case, is not golden.

Short and not so sweet?

My daughter is short and mostly sweet, except for when she is screaming. I can't believe someone so small could make such a big noise. I think my hearing may have been damaged recently, when I foolishly leaned too close to her and said, "Time for bed." So what do I do? Sometimes I feel like yelling.
I try to be calm and ask her not to yell, that it "makes me sad". Actually, it mostly just makes me mad, and I have a hard time getting her (and me) to calm down. I don't think this is just an issue for someone with a brain injury, but I do find it even harder to make a decision, and I find myself saying or doing things my parents would have.
That wasn't a bad thing, mostly, I just think that's what I do when I can't make a decision of my own. I guess that's what we all do, to some extent. We go into auto pilot given situations we may not be equipped to handle. There's something to be said for taking control of the ship and going on your own, but it sure isn't easy.

Making a routine stick

It's hard for me to start a routine and make it stick. I tend to get caught up in something else, and forget what I was working on. This blog is no different. I find that calendar items and to do items seem to help, but even then I get sidetracked.
Importance of the task helps to keep me motivated. Asking, "How important is this to me?", helps me to stay focused. The act of dish washing is not very important to me, but preparing food in a clean kitchen is important. Enjoyment also helps. I enjoy swimming, cycling and running, so it is easier to get going to do those things. Having a goal also helps.
Specific goals do more good for me than general ones. The more specific I am, the better. Goals like "lose weight" do no good, but goals like "lose 10 pounds so that cycling up hills is easier", make a difference. Dates also add to the adherence factor.
Not everything routine is fun, but when I schedule, attach meaning, get specific and create a goal, tasks become empowering.

Day to day

The day to day is getting to me. I mean the daily activities that get old, but if not planned, don't get done. Laundry, dishes, cleanup, etc... I'm happy for todo items, but it would be cool if mine consisted of something more exciting than: "Mop bedroom".
I usually have to set a time limit to my tasks, so that I don't get carried away or distracted.
Twenty minutes in each room seems to work for me, if I am consistent. If I miss a day, things start to get out of whack. It takes me longer to do things, and I get distracted easily. Kids, specifically, four year-olds, don't help matters either. I don't think I am alone on this...

Family

I'm a lucky guy. I know this, because I have a wonderful family. They've stuck around despite all of my difficulties. Well, they aren't always wonderful, and everything isn't always sunny, but they are still here. That's the good thing about family. They tend to stick around.

Decisions

I have a hard time making a decision. Especially if it's for a spur of the moment thing. I know this about myself, so I try to do the first thing that feels right, and stick to it. When at a restaurant, I scan the menu, pick the first thing that catches my eye and close the menu. If I see specials posted somewhere, I might not even have to open a menu.
Deciding on a restaurant, however seems to be an issue for me, especially when there are other people involved. It's better if the decision is already made, but if people are looking to me for guidance, it could take a while.
This gets a bit frustrating when we all are hungry. My parents were in town this week, and there were a few times they were waiting on me to decide. Finally, my wife picked a spot. Sometimes that is the best way. Let someone else pick, and then enjoy the ride.